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Preparing for Marriage

If you're a Catholic and you're preparing to get married, there are some things you may want to keep in mind. First off, a Catholic marrying another Catholic must be married in the Catholic Church. In order to prepare to be married in the Catholic Church, one is required to meet with a priest at least six months prior to the wedding. This is in order to make sure that the couple is free to marry. For it is not the priest who marries the couple, but the couple who marries one another. In order to do that, they must be free. 

Bride holding wedding bands

A Catholic who is marrying a non-Catholic can be married either in the Church or outside the Church, with appropriate dispensations. Once again, that person should speak with a priest or deacon at least six months prior to the wedding.

The Church law is that a Catholic must marry a Catholic. However, there is a law higher than the Church law, and that is the law of love. Which means that if a Catholic falls in love with somebody who is not a Catholic and desires to be married that person, regardless of their beliefs or religion, that marriage is typically permitted with a dispensation from the Bishop. That marriage can then be officiated by a justice of the peace, by a rabbi, by an imam, or any other officiant, because it is the couple who marries one another, and that fact can be witnessed by any person delegated by the Church.

The Sacrament of Matrimony

The Sacrament of Marriage, or Holy Matrimony, is a public sign that one gives oneself totally to this other person. It is also a public statement about God: the loving union of husband and wife speaks of family values and also God’s values. 

When a Christian marries a Christian, they receive the Sacrament of Matrimony, a sacramental union that directs those two people into a deeper relationship with Christ. The purpose of marriage is unitive and procreative: to bring the couple closer together and to bring new life into the world. However, sometimes a Catholic marries someone who is not a baptized person. In that case, the marriage is not a sacramental marriage, in which case the marriage is not leading them into a deeper relationship with Christ. But it is a natural marriage, the love of man and woman, which is what God has intended for his creation. 

Preparation Process:

  • Meetings with a priest/deacon who will witness your marriage.

  • Complete Pre-Cana Course

Documents:

  • Sacramental Certificates

  • Letters of Freedom

  • Pre-Cana Certificate

  • Canonical Dispensations (if necessary)

  • Marriage License

Logistics and Booking

The sacraments make Christ present in our midst. Like the other sacraments, marriage is not just for the good of individuals, or the couple, but for the community as a whole. The Catholic Church teaches that marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament. The Old Testament prophets saw the marriage of a man and woman as a symbol of the covenant relationship between God and his people. The permanent and exclusive union between husband and wife mirrors the mutual commitment between God and his people. The Letter to the Ephesians says that this union is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the Church.

Yes. Marriages between Catholics and non-Christians, while they may still be valid in the eyes of the Church, are non-sacramental. With permission, a priest or deacon may witness such marriages.

Just as individual states have certain requirements for civil marriage (e.g., a marriage license, blood tests), the Catholic Church also has requirements before Catholics can be considered validly married in the eyes of the Church. A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to children; and (4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister. Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by church authority.

In addition to meeting the criteria for a valid Catholic marriage (see the above question), the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If the person is a non-Catholic Christian, this permission is called a “permission to enter into a mixed marriage.” If the person is a non-Christian, the permission is called a “dispensation from disparity of cult.” Those helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with the permission process.

For Catholics, marriage is not just a social or family event, but a church event. For this reason, the Church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.

The local bishop can permit a wedding in another church, or in another suitable place, for a sufficient reason. For example, a Catholic seeks to marry a Baptist whose father is the pastor of the local Baptist church. The father wants to officiate at the wedding. In these circumstances, the bishop could permit the couple to marry in the Baptist church. The permission in these instances is called a “dispensation from canonical form.”

They should approach their pastor to try to resolve the situation.

The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. The Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith.

Parishes ask for a donation to cover the cost of the event which also includes musicians.

A Nuptial Mass is a Mass which includes the celebration of the sacrament of marriage. It has special readings and prayers suitable to the Sacrament of Marriage. The Sacrament of Marriage between two baptized Catholics should normally be celebrated within Mass.

Yes. A Marriage ceremony is possible which includes the Liturgy of the Word and the Rite of Marriage. This is particularly appropriate in the event of a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic.

They should contact their parish at least six months prior to the proposed date to make an appointment to talk with the priest, deacon or staff person who is responsible for preparing couples for marriage.

Marriage preparation offers couples the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Christian marriage, to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life, and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples to deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage.

An annulment is a declaration by a tribunal (Catholic church court) that a marriage thought to be valid actually fell short of at least one of the essential elements required for a binding union. Unlike civil divorce, an annulment does not erase something that was already there. Rather, it is a declaration that a valid marriage was never actually brought about on the wedding day. A declaration of nullity does not deny that a relationship ever existed between the couple, or that the spouses truly loved one another.

*Adapted from "For Your Marriage" of the USCCB